Be my spiritual diamond, people can admire

"Only if you make me look good to others, I will go out with you...Only if I eat right, have the right clothes on, say the right prayers I will be enlightened. Because enlightenment has to do with style. Enlightenment is a competition and I have to be the best.

I don't love you, I don't care about you. The only thing I'm interested in, is that I look good to others so I am accepted, by acceptance I'm secure, when I'm secure, I feel better. Be my spiritual diamond, people can admire."

These thoughts I picked up in this community when I socialized with some of the healers, spiritual people and the hippies. I came across the phenomena five years ago. Saw people in white, beige clothes, with the perfect tipi, who had done the perfect Ayahuaska ceremony. They went to the right festivals and countries, ate the right organic food, had the perfect yoga mat and socialized with the right people.

Some of this people could not speak to me in public because of shame. I think it was because I did not have “that” specific spiritual look. They asked me to not drink alcohol because it created pain in their auras. If I was not a vegan, I was a murderer. At the same time, they nicked my vegetable peeler. They were surprised when I knew about different kinds of mantras, even if I yet has not been in India. That I knew about raw food and supplements when I was overweight.

I was surprised by this behavior. I came from the mainstream world and searched for real peace and love. What I found was that they were the same kind of souls as bankers, but dressed up in alternative style.

My low self- esteem made me go along with their way of seeing the world and themselves. Fearfully dancing with all the different ways of being I felt I was supposed to fit in with.

I am now searching for the real people beyond surface, image and money. People can be beautiful, but when emotional issues come up and you cannot connect authentically with people of all types, something is wrong and you are a low vibrated being who is not better than a banker from Canary Warf. That is fine and do not judge the bankers..

Take care and lots of Love